Saturday, August 05, 2006

Recasting WKRP

Suppose we had to recast WKRP in Cincinnati using contemporary actors. Who should we pick? I'd select the following:

If we were to recast WKRP today, who should assume the key roles? Here are my thoughts.

Venus Flytrap: We need someone who's smooth, intelligent and articulate, and who loves music. Of course, this person should also be black. I hereby nominate Wayne Brady.

Les Nessman: We need someone who's quirky and funny, and who does "socially awkward" well. Baldness is a plus, so Colin Mochrie is my choice.

Herb Tarlek: For sleaziness and for his chemistry with Colin Mochrie, I choose Ryan Stiles. Fred Willard has the right look—much moreso than Ryan—but I would rather see Ryan's comedic talents at work.

Andy Travis: Funny, good-looking, lean, clean-cut and in good physical shape. I think that Nathan Fillion would be perfect for this role. Failing that (and because I like to choose people from the Whose Line... crowd, I would pick Chip Esten.

Dr. Johnny Fever: Must be capable of doing both subtle humor and wacky comedy. I figure that either Diedrich Bader, Greg Proops or Brad Sherwood can fill this role.

The Big Guy: Drew Carey has just the right look, and the comedic talent as well.

Jennifer Marlowe: Unfortunately, nobody suitable comes to mind. Pamela Anderson has the right combination of physical stature and plasticness, but she's just not right for the role (and besides, I can't stand her). We want someone who's curvy and statuesque, but who still conveys elegance and intelligence. Rebecca Romjin, perhaps? Or maybe Scarlett Johannsen? Somehow, they just don't work for me, though.

Bailey Quarters: Jan Smithers is a very tough act to follow. We need someone who can blend into the background, but who still oozes with subtle, smouldering beauty and sex appeal. Some would suggest Alyson Hannigan, but I think that Zooey Deschanel would be just yummy in this role. Her eyes, her low-key yet burning hot beauty... Oh, my.

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